“No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality.”

—	Shirley Jackson We create because we want to live.

‘Syzygy’

Definition: when three celestial bodies are aligned - ie, the sun, earth and moon.

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

—	Pablo Neruda, Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair

It seems to me that everything in my life has been born out of a loneliness. I was born because of two lonely people promising each other something that neither wanted. I was born in the middle of a thunderstorm, and the world is an incredibly expansive place. Every conversation I’ve had, every book that I’ve ever read. All of it was to find some place where I could finally rest. Every word I’ve written has a lingering, spreading sense of loneliness. And I am afraid that this feeling will eventually arrest all of my senses. I do not want to be struck by a perpetual sense of loss, because at the moment I feel like I have lost a part of myself. I feel like I am in one of those soapbox cars. I am made to be struck by matchsticks.

I am a master of imaginary conversations. 
The people in my head are often more real 
than people I can touch and see. 
But this kind of madness is allowed. 
It is the only way I can keep living,
by fashioning alternate endings
and shaping new realities.